It’s okay to be afraid

What is there that you really need or want to do? What is there that has been on your mind for some time but you have been holding back? Why do you think you are resisting making that  important step?

With time, it can become incredibly easy to get used to everyday scenarios and to settle within the context of our current situation. We continue to do the same thing day by day, week by week – and suddenly months have passed, maybe even years until one day we realise that we are enacting the same unwanted scenarios. Eventually, these become so familiar to us, that the idea of doing something different, although beneficial, can seem even more dreadful.

We are biologically wired to resist change

The thing is, we are biologically wired to resist change and not step out of our comfort zone. Everything we have learned, whether through experience or observation, becomes part of our subconscious programming, hence it is perceived as essential to our survival. This is the reason why we can become governed by our fears or established ways of thinking to an extent that any change, although beneficial, can feel like a threat. Sometimes, we even begin to like predictability, however unpleasant it may be.

On the other hand, if  we want a change, logic tells us that we need to do something different. Still, despite knowing this, resistance often kicks in, in the form of procrastination, uncertainty or even self-doubt. With time, we may find all sorts of excuses or even convince ourselves that we are who we are and cannot change or create a better life for ourselves. Now, an old saying comes to my mind: ‘You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.’ Does this sound familiar? Somehow, we can all relate to this because we all tend to define ourselves according to our current circumstances and see our own potential as a fixed state.

Neuroscience is on our side

Luckily, neuroscience is on our side here as everything we know about the brain now confirms the opposite. Each and every one of us has has the ability to become what we want to be. The key lies in stepping out of our comfort zone and doing all those things that may not feel natural to us at first but are necessary to becoming the person we want to be.

Psychologist William Fleeson from the Wake Forest University published a study where he examine the idea of “being true to yourself”. He says that it often means acting counter to our personality traits.

 “One implication of these findings is it might be possible for individuals to improve their mental health by acting against their personality traits,” says Fleeson. “Being flexible with who you are is OK. It is not denying or disrespecting who you are. People are often too rigid about themselves and stick with the comfortable and familiar”

All we can do is enough

But just imagine what your life would be like if you decided to give up on some of your fears and use the power that is already within you to become the person you have always wanted to be? What advantage is there to waiting? All you can do is enough.

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